5. Hook up culture:
-I never had a one-night stand. If I have “hooked-up” it’s always been with someone I have known pretty well. That being said, I have felt pressured by male friends and have not felt good about that. As I have gotten older I have become more conservative about casual sex. It’s interesting because the stories I have heard from men who have been on match are that older women are more casual about sex and I feel like I have gone in the opposite direction.
6. Alcohol in college:
– I drank my fair share in college, but I don’t think alcohol led me to make sexual decisions.
7. Non-consensual sex:
– After my second year of college before moving to Arizona I was raped in the Cayman Islands. That was my only true non-consensual sex, but like I said before there were sexual instances from being pressured. Alcohol was not a factor.
8. Difference in relationships college vs. post college:
– The relationship I have been in over the past 3 years is the best relationship I have ever been in. Choosing a partner when I was younger is completely different than today. Being younger I was always around so many people and continually meeting new people. I really didn’t fully know myself or what I was truly looking for. The scenario was more like, I would meet several people and be drawn to a certain person and then a relationship developed. I didn’t know exactly what key traits to look for and even when I did if they were missing a few it was not a big deal (you can always change them, right?). LOL! Post-college and post-divorce meeting new people was not a common occurrence any longer. It took me 2 years to be ready to get back into a serious relationship. I had 2 flings after the divorce. The first was with a friend I met through my brother and he was going through a lot of the same things I was going through. We saw each other for a few months and that was it. I didn’t want anything serious and he didn’t either. The second guy I met through a friend. I still did not want a relationship, but I wanted some companionship. We saw each other for a few months and he wanted to make it more serious so I stopped seeing him. At some point I found myself ready and desiring to be in a relationship. I signed up on match and went on 3 total dates. The first date was hilarious. We had one drink and I could not escape quick enough. The second guy made me giddy right from the start. The third match date was the night after I met the one who made me giddy. Guy #3 was okay but all I thought about was guy #2. Long story short I dated guy #2 for 3 years. He was wonderful at the beginning, but not so wonderful for most of it. I ventured back on match and went on several dates. I was much more focused and to me the dates were more like an interview, although I don’t think I came off that way. Most guys did not make it past the first date. There was no hooking up. I did a lot of text and email correspondence before meeting many of them. There was one certain guy that I corresponded with strictly through email and texts for well over a month. He was my favorite to chat with. We finally had out first date and have been together ever since. I finally found my great guy who is suited just right for me. WHEW!
